The MANual: Part One. --Mother Hen

Why you Ask??? Men are wondering. . . . .
Maybe this can help clear up some of the confusion and help avoid near miss arguments. Here are 10 things that came to my mind (easily I must admit) that have resulted in some not so loving comments and irritation.
1.)Always ASK the next question. We need details- do not come home and tell us oh, Ken & Barbie had a baby. Seriously? Just save that piece of information unless you have asked the obvious. Boy or girl, when, name. Oh, yes got this one several times over the years. Rrrrrrrrrrr
2.)Don’t EVER think you are going to figure US out. (Secret here females, we are doomed here too the male brain in just ‘different’, accept it)
3.)Outdoor privileges make us mad. You should have to pull down your pants also or go in the wide open not hiding like you are making out with at tree!!! And especially don’t be offering us drinks when you know good and well we are going to be dying before back to civilization for some relief.
4.)If it’s on the stairs – it means take it up or down. NO information signs needed.
5.)Dishes in the sink= put in dishwasher. Dishwasher full=turn it on. Dishwashing cycle done=empty & put away. Ditto laundry & trash. Not real rocket science, no manual needed.
6.)Peel cloths off (socks, T shirts, underwear) inside out in laundry= returned cloths will be INSIDDE OUT- the ‘machines’ do not turn them right side out. Nor the laundry elves.
7.)Car returns home from the grocery = bags to carry in and put away. EXCEPTION- you are in the middle of changing a poop explosion baby diaper – NO those cannot wait till female hands return, or game/show is over.
8.)“Dinner is ready” = 5 minutes not ½ time or end of show. Finally got definition of that one after eating several cold meals alone after we had started and almost finished with our nice hot meal.
9.)Detailed instructions- these are NOT created by females to make the chain on the ankle feel heavier, there are reasons why we do some things a certain way i.e. thaw meat, refrigerate food after eating not ‘sometime’ that day (avoid food poisoning) make the bed everyday – (it looks good & Mom insisted so it is now a habit), make meat loaf a certain size (inquiry via Mom reports ‘well it fit the pan I used’) so there you have it, wash glass ware before greasy skillets- duhhhhhhhhhhhh I know you can relate- sort of like why you mow grass dry if possible & blow grass away not together into tall grass, see now you are getting the picture.
10.)No not tonight= doesn’t always mean concrete NO- but sometimes it does ~~~~~~you just have to figure out which No we mean. LOL I am still smiling on that one after 36 yrs.

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