Mom Jeans & Booty Shorts.

So this is how it happens.... I get it now.

Have one baby- my body is “eh”...it will do. It's not too tragic. I can work it out.

Have baby two- body is “eek”...this shit isn't cute anymore. 

Now, I know its only been a few weeks since giving birth but two times around the block leaves me with stretch marks on top of stretch marks from last time + new ones to boot. In all honesty I really am lucky and not too tore up but I'm not the cute little tini bopper I once was either. My skin has clearly been stretched a time or two etc and my boobs—well, there are no words. LOL! While in the midst of my “shrink down” I still need real clothes to wear which unfortunately means purchasing a few items along the way. The idea of buying things that probably wont fit me in a couple months pains me, but its just part of the pregnancy weight gain/loss process.

Ok... ok, so what is this post really all about?

Mom Jeans & Booty Shorts

I now understand the trap women fall into. I refuse to go down the “mom jean” road but I will say on my recent shopping trip to Target and trying on shorts , I officially don't have the hips/legs/butt/belly suited for the junior department. I mean the booty shorts that department is carrying right now was beyond offensive to my eyes. NOT. CUTE. PEOPLE!! I really understand how people start wearing horrible mom jeans out of sheer horror after realizing they, too, can no longer wear juniors booty shorts! hahahaha
After the Target “experience” I knew it was time to explore new options that are fun, stylish, yet suited for my less then pristine body. Thanks to a few recommendations from friends I found some appropriate shorts that my saggy ass doesn't hang out of but are still WAY cute. My very favorite are actually the “midi” shorts from American Eagle. They have a 4 inch inseam which is much more suitable for this mama. They are kinda fantastic. (by the way I should make a disclaimer that I actually hate shorts but I'm learning that they are necessary with a toddler who wants to go places and play through the summer. I can't wear skirts or yoga pants everywhere, ya know?)

At the end of the day I write this coming from a place of humor. As I stood in the Target dressing room I actually heard my own mother's voice as my thoughts on these booty shorts went through my mind. In fact, I'm almost certain I laughed out loud at one point once realizing I had hit a turning point in my life. It's like all those years of Mother Hen bitching about short shorts being so tacky finally has become my opinion. I think we all have those pivotable moments when you realize you are becoming your mother. This was one of those....luckily though Mother Hen is rocking it out hard in her skinny jeans and hot lil dresses that are all super trendy but appropriate for a female who has carried four children. If thats the direction I'm headed then I'll take it. no mom jeans here.

1 comment:

  1. Welcome sister. . . . .lol There is the body before children then the scratch & dent model after.