3.07.2017

Rebuild

You guys...sometimes it just takes a single innocent and almost completely irrelevant remark from someone to seriously make it all make sense. To finally have the "ah-ha" moment you have been subconsciously trying to get to for what seems like quite a while....



So it went down like this... Tom & my Dad had the bigs out one Saturday evening a month or so ago for a big event and my Mom and I stayed back with the Sadie bopper. Mom was making baby food to freeze for lil miss thang (she has made baby food for all her grand-babies)...we had just gotten back from church where I had just had a whole different revelation that was not even close to church related and she can't stop giving me grief for that. lol Y'all it had to do with shoes. Thats all I'm gonna say. I clearly lost focus at some point during that mass. I digress... So it was like 7:15 or so and I was like "well I gotta go put Sades to bed and then I'll be back down to help. " a few moments passed and I made a comment like "I wish she didn't go to bed this early. It makes the evenings so short"....and then Mom was like "well why are you putting her to bed this early. She doesn't even seem tired" And, then I walked upstairs and I put her to bed. She went right to sleep like she always does even though she didn't seem really tired. Ok, so why was that her bedtime?? ALL THREE of my babies, as newborns, always just couldn't handle life after about 7:30. So that became their bedtime as babies. However the difference with Sadie is she is just cool with whatever. She is past the newborn fussy evening phase where she did at one point NEED to be asleep at 7:30...and she just rolls with the punches most of the time. Mom was right! She didn't seem tired. She almost never does. She just does what you want her to! (FOR NOW! gah! payback, I'm SURE will be a b***h someday) So, I was nursing her that night & putting her to bed and thats when it. all. made. sense. Cue the drumline (OMG DID YOU KNOW I HAVE A MAJOR THING FOR DRUMLINES??? I LOOOOOVE THEM), doves flying over, a couple fireworks, and maybe a small parade too.

....

We have not had a very difficult transition to three children. (I am always interested to see what transition is hardest for people because everyone has a different answer. Ours is still 0-1 child was the hardest to us) It IS a LOT more...but hasn't necessarily been "difficult" in itself. 3 kids is NO JOKE. I give major props to anyone with more than three. My mind can't even go there. But, what HAS been DIFFICULT has been adjusting to full time kindergarten, homework, Jay going to preschool, throw in some extra circulars for each big kid, a third child, Tom making a career switch this last year which includes a slightly different departure and arrival time for him each day. All of those big changes in our entire family has been DIFFICULT. Not in a bad way at all. Don't get me wrong. This post is not about me whining AT ALL. These are all GOOD THINGS.... It is just a LOT. A lot of change. Trying to make it all work and trying to make all those changes in a very short period of time (6 months)

So back to the church bells and small parade (ok, lets make it large like the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade while we are at it. This is my celebration so I'll make it what I want. lol) The moment I realized I had to stop trying to make it all work the way it was. I was trying to make it all fit. Fit like nothing had changed at all. Every single family member has had a big life change this year!!! Thats CRAZY, people!! I pinkie promise....I went up and nursed that night thinking about her bedtime and then all the sudden I remembered something from either a devotional (The Savor)....or  a Jen Hatmaker book....I can't remember where I read it but it was at least a year ago ....that some phases of life you REBUILD and sometimes you are just on cruise control or something like that. Both phases are good! Actually, not just good, they are GREAT. But its SO IMPORTANT to know which phase you are in and embrace it so you can THRIVE!


Hello. I'm Val, and I failed to realized we needed to be in a re-build phase for like 6 months. (palm to forehead.) I think it all just happened so fast that I was too busy trying to "do it all" that I failed to realized I needed to re-evaluate and PERHAPS "rebuild".  Honestly, you guys...we moved her bedtime to 8 the next day. Our evenings feel INFINITELY longer from that day with just that little shift. Her bedtime means nothing to you all, I get that. This is just how all this came about in my head and is one of the small changes that has changed our current daily life.  We have made other adjustments here and there to make other areas that felt kinda off, work better with each and every person. Including me. My expectations. My ideas of what "HAS" to be done each day or week. It is all little stuff here and there that makes a huge impact all over. And the very biggest part of it is mindset! Knowing I'm not trying to make it all work exactly like it used to.  It just takes the pressure off all of us. Its OKAY to be in a phase of making many adjustments.


Hairstylist Janae was giving Sadie a perm with a food saver. HAHA!
We do not have it all together. Honestly, most of the time we are on the hot mess express. And we all know NO ONE has it all together!!!! But I wrote this today to share that if you haven't ever actually consciously acknowledged your life in phases like "rebuilding" and "cruising" phase that maybe you should. Maybe it will make more sense and help you process why things are hard at the moment??and help you feel better about certain times of life feeling difficult. If you are more of a Type B person then maybe none of this applies. I'm kind of an A & B hybrid. Control. structure and consistency in certain parts of my life are imperative to my "peace". But then I'm a total spaz in so many ways too. For a person like me, to know why things aren't flowing like you THINK they SHOULD be, was such a game changer. When I read the bit on this originally I'm sure I just read it and never again thought of it until just weeks ago! It simply didn't apply when I read it and I had no reason for understanding the impact of those words and encouragement meant in that writing. For me, this epiphany took a load of my shoulders...and I shared this because I hope that maybe it strikes someone who needs it in their own sort of way...or maybe its just a little memory banked concept that will help you when you suddenly feel like you can't get your shit together ;-) HAHAHA!!

I wouldn't change a single thing y'all. I love our current season of life's chaos and all the reasons we have it. We feel so lucky and happy to have reasons to "rebuild" ...now that we know that is what we are supposed to be doing ;-)


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